Feb 4, 2008
I’m the silly sabateur of me
Instead of squeezing every last drop of happiness
from the power pack of love
I doubt, deviate, deconstruct
I find reasons for my reasons that aren’t real reasons
at all *
Just anti fairy tales wedged between the words
on the pages of a conjured crescendo (they do have many pages, you know)
some other author’s success at derailing me from now
pushing my mind, me, out to sea
My childhood was filled with fantasies, you see
and horror
and fantasties
and more horror
gem-like moments of what is good did twinkle now and then, however
so let me put a little mellow in this drama…
Because even serial killers smile sometimes
and while I’m no Bundy
I’m not always a good girl either
not always a good friend
sister
daughter
girlfriend
roommate
dog owner
co worker
student
Sometimes I suck, in fact
those hats too small for my big head
swelling with ideas
impulses, urges, arguments
or
Sometimes I’m conflicted
an afternoon chess player unsure of where to move her King
fine with losing
so fine in fact that it reaks of intent
So if you’re gonna be bad
shouldn’t you just be really bad
leave out the punctuation
twist the knife
instead of poking
proding
pricking
para-phrasing
playing games that come soooo close
to a run on sentence
right smack into a very bloody heal
spider squashesque
When what the situation really calls for
isn’t a knife
but a fork
to stick it in
with force
and run…
*At this moment in 2008, I was in a very WRONG relationship. My heart and soul were trying to tell me to end it and quick! But I wasn’t brave enough. I thought I was the one with the problem. BUT – the subconscious tells us everything we need to know… through dreams… and poetry.
