Today is my 2nd anniversary with my dearest Merp (his real life nickname). How’d he get his nickname you might ask? Its origin can be traced all the way back to a text message in 2010 wherein I followed a statement about his lack of responsiveness with “meep, meep, meep.” (My version of mayday mayday, apparently). To which he replied, “I can picture you meeping at me all the way out there.” “Out there,” being a far away land I once commuted to for work. I started calling him “Meep” from that day forward, which mutated somewhere along the way into its modern form, “Merp.” I’m big on nicknames, but they can’t be contrived. Nicknames “just happen” the same way I thought things like “pregnancy” and “novel writing” would (but sadly don’t).
ANYWAY – here we are. Merp and I’s 2nd anniversary and the beginning of our FIRST cycle of medically assisted Intrauterine Insemination. What a great way to honor our marriage, right? I just had a baseline ultrasound, dropped a G on Bravelle, then proceeded to devour a gluten-free red velvet cupcake from Sprinkles to drown my sorrows, ahem, to celebrate. Right.
But speaking of ultrasounds, my ovaries are really starting to confuse me. Last month I had 17 follicles. Today they could only find 8. I’m starting to suspect that my low AMH test might have been accurate though I’m still waiting for results. How do follicles and AMH just disappear? And why would my fertility profile be worse NOW with my healthier lifestyle, post lap and miscarriage, then it was 6-months ago? I just don’t have it in me to obsessively google today.
So excuse me while I go run off the cupcake, make a reservation for our anniversary dinner, then mix up a delicious cocktail of sodium chloride and follicle stimulants.
PS – I had a wonderful weekend at my family’s cabin in the Sierras watching other people’s screaming children frolic in the lake. I just kept thinking, “If by next 4th of July I still don’t have a baby, I might freak the f out.” Yeah.