Me and a very sweet friend at Merp and I’s co-ed baby shower. She made me a book of pre-Daphne pics in a monogrammed photo album that will eventually hold Daphne’s first photos too.

I’m coming to terms with the fact that when Daphne arrives, my writing and studying time will be ferociously gobbled up by her needs and for a very long time. Remembering how I felt when I was throwing stark negative pregnancy tests into the garbage can makes me welcome and appreciate and get excited for this transition even though I’m also a little afraid. I poignantly remember feeling like it, getting and staying pregnant, was NEVER going to happen. Now here I am, 35 weeks and 4 days in to carrying a new life. MIND BLOWN. Officially. I’m incredibly grateful, if not reeling from the thrill of it all.

Even though this past weekend saw the biggest rain storm California has had in 2-years (I love the rain and wish it were still raining), Merp and I had an amazing baby shower thrown at our new house by my Mom. I fully expected people to stay away from the party (because of the rain) and the registry in favor of cutesy items like clothes and blankets, but so many awesome people showed up and we got almost everything we NEED to make Daphne’s first few months comfortable (swing, co-sleeper, snuggle nest, organic changing pad & cover, Ergo carrier etc.). We also got the perfect amount of cutesy items as well, but not as many clothes as I expected. I’ve picked the brain of my longest term friend about what her baby wears most, to bed and during the day, and what I took from that brain picking session was this: Footsy pajamas all the way & sleep sacks. Any other moms out there care to weigh in on this topic? Right now I have about 7 “newborn” outfits, mostly hand me downs from a generous friend, and about twelve 0-3 month outfits, 2-sleep sacks, 2-night gowns, and about 7 onesies. Not to mention, several swaddle blankets. Will this be enough for her first 3-months? I really have no clue.

One thing I AM sure of, however, is my to-do list. I’m finding that fear and the nesting instinct are a powerful combination. Here’s what I strive to accomplish between now and April 9.

• Finish Ghosts of Rodeo Drive. I have approximately 5-chapters left of my first draft. That means if I complete a chapter a week I will finish if Daphne comes on or around her due date. So far this week I’ve outlined the next chapter. Let’s see how much I can get accomplished this afternoon because tomorrow through the weekend is booked solid.
• Continue to organize my law study materials so I have flash cards to read while breast feeding. I’m not sure I told you guys but between moving and my every 20-minute urge to pee and not feeling ready (like at all), I decided to put off the bar until July or February, depending on how things go with Le Bebe of course. Did I feel like a big fat failure (literally) when I made that choice? Yes, I did. But only for about 5-minutes. The bar is held twice yearly, but this might be my one and only successful pregnancy.
• Set up sleep and changing stations around the house. The plan is to leave the Pack n Play set-up downstairs with the newborn sleep attachment and changing table in place, along with the Rock n’Roll Sleeper (or whatever it’s called – you manually rock it is all I know), and a stock of diapers, wipes, lotion etc. Upstairs we’ll set-up the co-sleeper in our room and the swing in the loft area, making sure that the nursery changing table area is also locked and loaded with poop catching and cleaning devices. Does anyone know if the 8-14 lb. diapers we received as gifts will last us through the 4th trimester? How big are most babies on average by 3-months old?
• Learn to use and set-up car seat and stroller.
• Learn to use the breast pump I received compliments of my health insurance.
• Pack both cars with changing kits/supplies (including spare outfits).
• Pack diaper bag.
• Go on hospital tour (tonight!)
• Pack hospital bag.
• Write out birth plan.
• Return “bpa-free” plastic baby bottles I got for my shower in favor of the hard to find glass versions. Okay so this deserves an explanation. March is Endometriosis Awareness month which really has nothing directly to do with the fact that I decided to start YET ANOTHER blog called Credible Feast, but the two ARE intertwined. As you may or may not know, I have Stage IV endometriosis which it seems has been in remission during my pregnancy. Even though back pain is both a symptom of endo AND pregnancy, I’m happy to say that I’ve had neither, nor any other strange pain over the last 8-months hence my remission conclusion. What does this have to do with my new blog? Well on Credible Feast I plan to talk about our food supply and issues like transparency in labeling, regulatory changes, food born illness outbreaks, safety of food grade chemicals etc., and how all these topics relate to YOU, ME, and our health (I have a food safety/regulatory compliance background and, well, I read about this stuff for fun so might as well add it to the list of things I write about, right?). While there may be genetic factors associated with Endo and many other chronic diseases, I am convinced that modern living which includes genetic modification of the foods we eat and introduction of new “food grade” chemicals to the implements we use and the processed products we consume have all contributed to the rise of chronic disease in the United States. For example, my first Credible Feast post was inspired by a Mother Jones article about how BPA-free plastics are not always safe. BPA, along with some of its alternatives, create estrogen mimicking hormones that disrupt the endocrine system – enter conditions like endometriosis and breast cancer, two diseases that feed on excess estrogen. Check out my summary of the article and if you have time (it’s long) read the article itself. Talk about blowing z mind (and depressing the soul). Whether  you want to believe it or not, there ARE wolves in sheep clothing lurking on every aisle of the supermarket. But there’s also truth to be found. I hope I can find at least some of it. Credible Feast is my place to do that.
• “Stay focused” should also be on this list. Why I decide to launch a new blog when the goal of writing 5-chapters in 5 weeks, along with continuing to prepare the house for the fruit of my loins to spring forth, is beyond me. There’s just so much to explore and so little time!

As you can see, I will have my hands full between now and April 9. And I know I’m not alone – we’re ALL busy – either you’re down and dirty in the trenches of RE appointments and cycle charting and hormone injections (and possibly crying your eyes out because it’s all so f’ing frustrating) or you’re frantically preparing for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (a baby) to beautifully shake  life as you know it upside down and inside out. Wherever you are in this journey, how do YOU stay focused on YOUR goals whether they’re fertility, baby related or not? ADHD medication not included.

Before I go take the novel writing world by storm, I’ll leave  you with a funny little story compliments of Merp. Here’s how our conversation went after I told him that my recently sprouted breasts have already started producing colostrum evidenced through wet spots in my  happily larger bras (I’m now wearing a 38 C! I was a perky, but measly, 32 B or 34 A before! IT’S ALL SO AMAZING).

Me: So guess what I discovered last night?

Merp: What?

Me (with far too much enthusiasm): A huge wet spot around the nipple of my right boob! Yay I’m producing colostrum! Maybe my boobs aren’t broken.

Merp: I don’t know what you’re so excited about. I’m going to be the one waking up throughout the night for feedings, not you.

Me: Eh? (looks confused) How do you figure?

Merp: Don’t they have a man milk holster? Like a chest pack I wear with two nipples on it. Why didn’t we get one of THOSE for our baby shower?

Me: Wait. Are you serious?

Merp: Totally. (And he was guys. He really was).

Me: (laughing hysterically unable to talk for a minute or two). Oh honey.

Yup, Merp honestly thought that he’d be able to partake in “breast feeding.” How totally adorable. It would be VERY cool if such a contraption existed, but in the meantime I’ll hunt down some glass bottles with which to store breast milk so that once Daphne has established a good latch Merp too can share in the fun of feeding our baby daughter.

Related posts:

Inconclusive Sadness Credible Feast is officially live! Brighton Baby: The Secret to having an Extraordinary Baby? A Healthy Rainbow Baby: It Will Happen 37 weeks, The Beach & Changing Station Mania!